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Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer (DVD)

4.99 USD
Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer (DVD)
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Bad Movie Police Case #2: Chickboxer (DVD)

4.99 USD
SYNOPSIS:
For anyone who’s ever watched a movie so bad you wished acting required a permit or that a 14-day waiting period was mandatory to buy a camera...the Bad Movie Police are here! Follow the adventures of Sgt. Elke Mantooth, Lt. Drucilla Dread and The BMP Task Force as they seek out the worst “cine-terrorists” in movie history and bring their crimes to justice for your entertainment!

Shot in late 1991, CHICKBOXER has a long list of crimes it’s committed against good cinema. Among them is a cameo by retired scream queen Michelle Bauer (HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS) shot in Los Angeles while the rest of this turkey was lensed in the backwoods of Ohio under the dubious talents of feminist director Yolonda Squatpump. Watch for Bauer’s steamy scene in the flick’s finale which was obviously tacked on to an otherwise skinless cheesefest! OUT OF SIGHT and SOLDIER star James Black is also on board for this comedic misstep in cinematic sludge!

FAST FACTS:
1992 • Color • 70 mins. • Comedy / Action • Unrated • Region 1 • NTSC DVD-5 Format
Cat. No. BMP-106 • Distributed by Bad Movie Police (a division of Tempe Video)
Retail Price: $9.99 • Street Date: Oct. 14th, 2003

BMP CASE #2 EVIDENCE:
• Commentary with producer J.R. Bookwalter
• Behind-the-scenes featurette (7 mins.)
• “Into The Black” segment (6 mins.)
• Still gallery & original trailer
• About the Bad Movie Police
• Full-color insert with Lt. Drucilla Dread bio

REVIEWS:
"When taken as a total package in its “remastered” format as BAD MOVIE POLICE CASE #2, CHICKBOXER manages to survive as a “party in a box” in the pizza and beer sense of getting together with a friend or three and ripping it up to no end. No matter how bad the movie is, I can at least guarantee you that it’s better than David DeCoteau’s LEECHES, and way more fun to heckle! Think of it as MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 done by the filmmakers themselves...and hey, Ariauna Albright has way better cleavage than Tom Servo. That’s what makes this DVD so fun. The filmmakers are laughing with you. They want you to sit down with pizza and beer and shred the movie they made just over ten years ago. That’s the whole point of it all." - Ziggy's Video Realm

"The Bad Movie Police bit is still as fun as ever, with the two women being incredibly cute, indulging in 80's cop show shenanigans, bringing down bad directors with no remorse, and other general bits of sexy fun. I can't fully explain why, but this shtick is great stuff. Extras are plentiful, and pretty entertaining, with behind-the-scenes featurettes (in which nobody has anything nice to say about CHICKBOXER, surprise surprise) some pretty brutal audio commentary, a trailer, and a still gallery. I commend Tempe for their presentation of these re-releases...if you like testing your strength with crappy movies the way that I like to, there's plenty to like with the Bad Movie Police." - Monsters At Play

"In the pantheon of pathetic attempts at making the camcorder into cinema, this has to rival DA HIP HOP WITCH and PEOPLE FROM SPACE as the worst video vomit ever. But for some reason, the amount of awfulness given off by this film never seems to affect you directly. It's the piling on of improbabilities that makes CHICKBOXER so laugh-out-loud ludicrous. Tempe's premise for its new BAD MOVIE POLICE line of DVDs is equal goofball goodness, presented like an old-fashioned Shock Theater framing device from years back. It's near genius to serve up your wanton cinematic waste product as further self-serving comedic deconstruction fodder and throughout the entire process, the tongue-in-cheek chattering of the two female fuzz really sells the experiment. With a title that screams steamy titillation but with an end result more mind-blowingly mopey, this sad excuse for a cinematic outing is still guilty pleasurable for all the wrong reasons." - DVD Verdict

"To put you into the proper frame of mind I want you to envision the worst community theater it has been your misfortune to attend. Now times that by a million and you have the acting ability on display in the atrocity known as CHICKBOXER. It looks like a home video. That said, there is good news...Michelle Bauer is in the film for about five minutes and for three of those she's naked and having fake sex! [This is] the only reason to watch. That is, unless you plan on going into the Navy SEALS program and want to test your ability to withstand excruciating pain. That would be the other reason to sit through this." - Cult Cuts

"I am quickly becoming a fan of Tempe Video’s Bad Movie Police series. CHICKBOXER was more painful than it was enjoyable, but I’m still a fan of the overall presentation. One standout on the DVD is an extra feature that interviews some of the cast and crew members from the film. It is fun to watch the sheer embarrassment on their faces. You can honestly tell that these people would rather bury themselves alive than to admit their involvement in this move. All in all CHICKBOXER is still bad movie fun-i-tude!" - Horrorview

"Dressed in low-cut fetish-oriented cop uniforms, Albright and Stabs approach their roles with relish and play the scenes straight. To say the intros are the most entertaining part of the DVDs is obvious, but missing the point. The movies representing the meat of the discs are terrible, bordering on unwatchable, but in that “fun” way that will appeal to folks who like to seek out the unedited movies featured on the MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 series. Bookwalter understands this and isn’t above making a little extra money on these embarrassments from his past. BAD MOVIE POLICE should be an inspiration — and a warning — to bad filmmakers everywhere." - Film Threat

"The opening segments are well done, with pretty good fight scenes and lots of humor; they have a good time, and present the idea of what they are doing in a straight forward manner, while still showing cleavege and fishnet hose. My kind of cops. Bad acting, bad action, bad character all add up to a bad movie. And that is what the commentary wants you to know. That this is a bad movie, lets make fun of it. They invite you to do so. Please, only watch this thing when it is with the Bad Movie Police." - Penguin Comics

"Once again the new intro segment directed by John Treacy and starring Lilith Stabs and Ariauna Albright is the best part of this disc. Unfortunately that’s only about 10 minutes. CHICKBOXER itself only runs an hour, and offers proof that time really is relative. For instance, an hour of having bamboo splinters shoved under your fingernails would probably go by faster than an hour spent watching this movie. If you’re an MST3K fan, get a couple buddies together to watch this while taking turns playing Joel (or Mike if you prefer) and the ‘bots..." - Utter Trash